Guerrilla As Fuck

2 tanks oil

motorcycle carb

24 of cerveza

round saw thing

close circuit wiring

sand

gum

spit

= Philly Magic BEBÉ

Philly,

Chorizo shit in my bed again. I know everybody loves him, I do too. But this has gotta stop.

I know you can control him. I know he only listens to you. Please. When I get near him he growls and looks like he's gonna tear my cojones off. I'm worried if I catch him in the act it's gonna be ugly. For me I mean.

Por favor, Philly. When you get back just... just make sure he doesn't do it again. OK?

-Roberto

If I die,

My workshop goes to Espada. She can use my tools. She always use them without asking anyway.

My truck can go to Elvis. He loves that piece of shit. Even got a cushion for Gordito to sit on.

My collection of glue containers go to whoever wants them the most. I know Juanita loves huffing that shit, she is top of the list.

Everything else goes to Chorizo.

Don't look in the black crate. Just don't. You gonna thank me.

Signed, Philly Barzaga

Señor Resolver,

Juan Cortez here. I think I'm becoming your biggest fan. I don't know how you do it. A lawnmower blade with a dildo strapped to the ends? You are definitely my kind of crazy. Here's hoping it pops my slipped disc back in.

When the heat dies down (i.e. when we're all dead) I might come by your workshop to see the so-called Philly Magic at work. Don't worry if a couple things go missing. They say to steal from the best, so I hope that little perrito of yours isn't a snitch.

OK, enough stalling. This twelve-inch rubber monster has a date with my spine.

The Hero

-Best friend I got

-Smells like shit

-Might kiss

-Almost ready to hear my Esperanza story - ALMOST!!

-Shorter than I thought

-Chorizo approves

-P