A Gamer’s Guide to Real-life Dating
Okay, so you’re the hotshot. The king of the hill.
You’ve scored the highest killstreaks in CoD. You’ve finished the campaign for GTA… including the side missions. And you even managed win it big in the Sims 3, buying the giant mansion on the hill and decking out the front yard with three import cars and a limo.
That may be fine for your sim, but what about you?
It’s an old joke that the average gamer spend more time grasping the joystick than the hand of the opposite sex. While gamers in general have started branching out from the core group spawned in the days of USENET, they have retained the stereotypical image of thick black glasses, braces, and a distinct lack of a love life.
Guides4Gamers aims to combat these stereotypical thinking. Join us as we drag you out of the basement, and introduce you to our very own guide to real life dating.
Tip 1: Fix up your appearance
A lot of gamers spend long hours and big bucks polishing up their avatar. They buy the Exclusive Camo edition sniper rifle, rack up hundreds of playing hours to get the Level 80 Magical Sword, and even spend bucks on eBay to outfit their character with a blonde hairdo.
All of which is fine. But so much if your real self becomes a total slob in the process. Before going out of the basement, think of yourself a Level 1 avatar. You need to fix yourself for combat. Take a bath, get that long overdue haircut, and run down to the store for some much needed deo and shaving cream.
Then put on your armor – in this case, your clothes. That one will have to take up a whole new article. But since were short on space, just make sure they match, don’t come in plaid or lime green, and fit you well (no oversized pants or too-short pants). If all else fails, ask your mom for advice.
Tip 2: Scout the opposition
After spending half of your life in the basement, the sunlight can be dazzling. So too is the prospect of human interaction. Before you step out and leg-hump the first girl you see, recon the enemy and know their strengths and weaknesses.
Online matchmaking services and singles dating websites can be very useful in this case. Just like selecting a character, choose your likes and dislikes. Skim among the profiles, avoiding the ones that are beyond your reach (most probably 80% of the results, but that will decrease over time as you level up). Now that you know the enemy, it’s time to plan the attack.
Tip 3: Strive to be normal
An often overlooked fact, but a very important one: Act normal. This means avoiding any and all mention of your obsessive compulsive behavior, your gaming habit, and the fact that you live in the basement.
Do NOT under any circumstances delve into your Level 90 Shaman character, or your awesome killstreak record in Activision’s databanks. If you can’t resist the urge to talk about your favorite game, keep it short and simple. A simple “Yeah, I play WoW now and then” will do.
Don’t tell her you spent half your life playing it.